I got a new phone and downloaded the Blogger app!

All my mom wants for Christmas is a new blog post (well, that and an HD TV...) Getting my butters in gear for her is the least I can do so I'm warming my writing fingers up with some pre Christmas musings.

Not having blogged in, ooo, 4 months, a few things have come to pass. Bert got an automatic food dispenser. So that's new. We bought a Subaru, which means Orange's transformation into a hipster is nearly complete. Oh, and then there's this little missy:

Doodle Bug bust onto the scene a few weeks early and has quickly learned to rule our home with a tiny, chubby, iron fist. Even though she's a few months old I still wake up most mornings to her baby grunts and bassinet boobles and think "oh, you're still here... right... I have a kid now." It's a bit shocking really, that Jebus would give her to us. But she is the jam on my bread, and I couldn't be happier she chose us to be her people (and Mama LL is just pleased to finally have someone to buy tiny fur coats for...)

DB will most likely influence this blog quite a bit being that my days now revolve around trying to get her to giggle. But I promise this will not become yet another "mommy blog." I still have very strong opinions about the Kumon logo, inserts in magazines that make it difficult to flip the pages, and the nubbin that forms on top of the mustard bottle.

With that in mind...

I spend a lot of time walking these days, pushing DB around town to work off my baby butt/the daily hit of TCBY I took most of last summer. The mind goes to funny places when your side kick is a 9 lb munchkin. I have lots of time to ponder, and ponder I do. For example:

Who owns Antarctica?

How does mail get from here to, say, Ottawa? You never see "Canada Post" trucks on the highway. And while $1 a stamp is ludicrous I don't think it would cover a Canada Post flight. Does it travel by train? Unmarked cars? 

Why do people pay so much for Canada Goose jackets? Canadian Geese are vermin. They are a dime a dozen down by the waterfront, poisoning the lake with their toxic green poo. In fact, a friend of mine not willing to pay $1500 for a coat has a knocknoff CG parka and recently discovered it's stuffed with (wait for it)... hair. Yes, human hair. And no, i have no idea where she got it. Maybe that can be a maternity leave crafting project... hair jackets for $1500. I certainly have the supply what with the way I'm molting postpartum. And folks I will even cut you a Christmas deal: buy two and I'll cover the shipping (once I figure out the tricksy Canada Post thing...)